Boiling with style

Photo by Cristian Rojas Pexels.com

Creating is a necessity for my life. It wasn't easy - it took me a while to understand that I'm different from most people.

Not that I think I'm special, but there's this feeling inside me that I can't control, no matter how much I try to ignore it. It's like boiling milk, it overflows without giving me a chance to control it. And the only way to prevent it from making a mess is to let it out, to externalize it... to create.

I feel like I'm constantly boiling and about to overflow. It's a good and exciting sensation. My mind creates with pleasure and delights in developing stories. And when I don't do it, frustration comes, I have to clean up the mess. It boiled over too much, I didn't pay proper attention and it overflowed.

I used to find it difficult to live like this, constantly overflowing and making a mess. I couldn't see the signs of boiling and in seconds I'd lost control. I would reprimand myself for always making a mess and for a while thought it would be better not to boil at all. That way there's no mess to clean up in the end.

And again came the frustration. The feeling that something was missing was devastating. I was just an empty pot on a lit flame. I burned to the point of almost being thrown away. But I found God's grace.

For the first time, I allowed myself to know God's love, a love I'll never deserve and that embraces me in a secure, fatherly hug.

Finally, I'm learning to boil. Learning to see the signs so I don't overflow. Understanding that overflowing isn't the end of the world either - it's work, but it's much better than boiling with nothing inside.

Much better to try and fail than to give up. A strange metaphor about boiling milk to try to explain how creativity works in my head.

I'm still afraid, but I now know I can use it to my advantage. I use it as momentum. It's the spark that turns gas into flame. It's not my enemy, but my ally. Because in the end, I'm the one who controls the strength of the flame.

For the first time in my life, I have confidence in boiling. I want to live and live fully, everything that God has prepared and desired for my life. And you?